Stubbs' Blog

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I never really took this whole economy situation seriously.  I saw news clips flashing numbers and percentages, heard people talking about recessions and depressions and unemployment and banks failing and corporations crumbling…but my life never changed.  My dad had a stable, well paying job.  I was about to start going to an expensive private college way out of state.  I had a sweet summer job and plenty of money to support myself for the following school year.  It felt like all this economy disaster crap was happening in a totally different world.

Now, though, I am taking it seriously.  Very seriously.  My dad’s not going to be employed any longer, for a multitude of reasons, and he’s decided not to pursue another job in the field he’s spent his entire life working in.  So he has no idea what he’s going to do once he’s done working at his current company, but it’s quite likely that we won’t have nearly the same amount of money coming in as we did.  And with the job situation as it is, that’s even scarier.  I’ve also failed to find myself a job this summer, even though I tried way harder than last year and am über-qualified for the positions I’ve been applying to (I guess no one wants to hire someone who has to leave the state in three months).  With no job, I’ll probably drain what’s left of what I saved up from last year on food, toothpaste, bus fare, etc. next year.  My family hasn’t been eligible for financial aid, so I have to figure that out but I’m nervous that UChicago will give us the finger financially, since they already screw people who are much less capable than we were.  Transferring is always an option, as California has amazing state schools so I’ll still be getting a good education, but that means separating from my girlfriend at college, which is never fun to think about.  Odds are, I won’t graduate from Chicago on time, if at all.  And I spent all that time setting up my schedule for my four years

It’s sad that it took me this long to really take it seriously, and I’m sure my troubles are nothing compared to so many other people’s.  I guess it’s kind of pathetic to complain about my issues when they are viewed in relation to other’s.  Who am I to whine?  I know in the end, whether it turns out how I planned/hoped or not, I’ll probably be ok (at least I think I know…). But I still feel the fear of an uncertain future, so I guess that’s something I can relate with, however little it is.  Whatever happens, the lasting effect is that I’m not taking things for granted anymore, which is cliché as hell, but that’s the way it is.  It’s been too easy to become comfortable with the relaxed lifestyle I’ve been graced with, and anxiety has brought that to my attention.  I just hope that I’ll still be able to truely appreciate it a year from now :/

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